Ever have those days when you feel like everyone else has something you deeply desire but don’t have? Just in the last couple days, I had two friends announce a new relationship, one get married, two post baby bumps, one post a gender reveal for her second baby, and one write a sweet tribute to her husband of a few months. All but one of those friends is younger than me.
It’s the season for weddings and bridesmaids and babies and fun. It’s a wonderful season! I love celebrating with my dear friends, helping with weddings, making keepsake baby gifts, and delighting in their joy. I love events, I love parties, I love people, and weddings and babies just make me happy.
Yet sometimes, the joy is mixed with a bit of sorrow. I’ve wanted to be a wife and mommy since I was two. Seriously. I’ve always loved babies, and being a wife was what I had to do to get my own babies, you see. 2 year old logic speaking here. Over time, somehow it flipped to wanting to be a wife an awful lot too, not just a mommy, but I digress.
I’m not a wife and mommy yet. That isn’t the season God’s chosen for me right now. And that’s okay. I love my life, I love what He’s given me to do, I joyfully anticipate what the future holds. But those things don’t necessarily keep away the slight pang when yet another friend gets what I’m praying for and haven’t yet received.
So what to do? Here’s what helps me:
- “Refuse self pity. Refuse it absolutely. It is a deadly thing with power to destroy you. Turn your thoughts to Christ who has already carried your griefs and sorrows”-Elizabeth Elliot. This quote says it so well. Don’t go there. Speak truth over yourself, refuse the lies of the enemy.
- Practice thankfulness. I was reminded of this on Father’s Day. So many have no father in their life, or they have a dad that hasn’t been there for them. I have the most amazing dad. Truly. It always helps me to focus on the blessings God has given me, not those He hasn’t.
- Worship God. It’s hard to be sad when you’re worshipping and praising your loving, all-powerful, gracious Lord. Turn up the praise music, hum a tune, or sing, and watch your mood change.
- Recite Scripture. Memorize as much as you can, but at least memorize specific verses that help you. Verses that talk about God’s faithfulness, His promises, His character, etc. Recite them to yourself mentally or out loud. Counter every lie of the enemy with the truth of Scripture. Put them on your walls, on your phone, in your car, in your workspace.
- Focus on others. It’s one of the best “cures” I have found. It can be sending an encouraging card to an elderly lady, making dinner for a busy mom, listening to a friend who’s going through a hard time, serving at your local pregnancy center, whatever. Turn your eyes off yourself, and resolve to use your time wisely and serve.
Whatever season you are in, there will be hard moments, times when it seems like someone else has it so much better. There will always be things we are waiting for. If our hope is on earth, whether it’s in things or people or circumstances, we will always be disappointed.
It’s normal to experience that momentary pain, that disappointment. It’s what you do with it that matters. Do you take those feelings captive, or do they take you captive?
What if we chose today, everyday, to focus on Jesus instead? To fill our minds with truth? To pour ourselves out to the hurting world around us? We only have a short time on this earth. Let’s not waste it!