Tired of being single? What should you do? Write a blog post about it. Hahaha! Not really. But actually, writing is one of my favorite ways to share my thoughts, process my emotions, and talk to God. It’s usually personal journaling, but today, I decided to share on A Pure Radiance. Because living radiantly for Christ means doing so in every season, whether it’s a season you chose or not.
So, here’s 5 things to do when you’re tired of being single:
1. Talk to God About It
God already knows how you feel. He can take it. Tell Him about it, ask for advice, really listen, cry if you need to. This whole following God thing is a relationship, remember? Write out your thoughts and prayers. Read and copy Scripture and remember His promises to you. Recount His faithfulness to you over the years. He’s been faithful before, He is faithful still, even if you don’t feel like it.
Choose to turn to God in your moment of need, and let Him meet you and comfort you and strengthen you. Worship Him, thank Him, praise Him. Remember, “those who look to Him are radiant”. Intentionally focusing on Christ and running to Him are the best weapons I’ve found against the temptations of the enemy.
2. Seek Companionship in Other Ways
“Single” does not equal “alone”. First off, God is always with you. Secondly, He’s designed you to be in relationship with other people. So you’re not married. You still have relationships. Stop wishing for what you don’t have and rejoice in what you do have!
Surround yourself with a community of family and friends who will uplift you. I can’t tell you how many times a good conversation with a friend or my parents has encouraged me and completely changed my attitude. Find friends who will faithfully tell you to “snap out of it” when you need it and other times just give you a long hug and not say a word.
3. Focus On & Serve Others
This is another one of my favorite medicines. Instead of focusing on “my needs, what I want, what I don’t have”, choose to focus on others. There are people with deep needs all around you, in whom you can invest a great deal of time. There are people whose day you can brighten with just a smile or kind word. Choose to look at others with Jesus’ eye, and serve as He prompts you.
I can’t tell you how much fun this is. It’s teaming up with Jesus to see how we can make a difference all around us. I’m naturally very task-oriented, so I have to be intentional about this. “Jesus, who do you want me to talk to right now? She looks a bit down, what would be a tasteful way to ask how her day is going? What would be encouraging to him right now?” and so on. It’s rather amazing how completely my perspective changes when I focus on others!
3. Adjust Your Perspective-And Choose To Bloom
It all comes down to how you look at life and where you place your focus. Are you living fully, or are you keeping yourself in a holding pattern? Are you grateful for what you have, or bitter about what you don’t? Even if you have an overall balanced view of marriage, it’s still extremely easy to focus on the benefits of marriage and the negatives of singleness. Choose not to.
I know, blooming where you’re planted sounds so cliché. But there’s an awful lot of truth to it. Don’t avoid planning for the future, but today, God called you to be single, didn’t He? Why not enjoy today? Pursue the things you love, the passions that light you up, the people that inspire you, the ministries God’s called you to. LIVE, dear girl! Live deeply, put down roots, seek His will for your life right here, right now.
5. Trust God-And Go Forward
If you’re tired of being single, I take it you’d like to be married, yes? So, while you’re living fully right now, trusting God for each day, keep going forward. Remember how you’re talking to God about this whole thing? Well, tell Him about the guys you like, ask Him to nudge the right guy your direction, and pray intentionally for your future husband AND the guys in your life right now. Seek God’s leading, step out of your comfort zone, do new things, meet new people, and see what He might do.
It’s not about trusting God vs. going forward, it’s about doing them both simultaneously. Trust Him, and when He tells you to take a step, take it. When you’ve surrounded yourself with good community, say yes to that blind date. Invite your friends to introduce people to you. Join that singles Bible study. Find people who share your passions. Encourage that guy. It’s okay to take a risk.
I’m preaching to myself on all these points, too. I’m by no means perfect at any of this. Yet, I do love the life that God has given me to live, I love the community I’m in, I love how intimate my relationship is with God, I love the opportunities He’s given me. Do I still have moments when I tempted to fall into self-pity, wish I was married a bit too much, when I’m tired of being single? Of course. But it’s what I do with those moments of temptation that determines how radiantly I’m going to live.
Upwards and onwards, sisters! Christ has opened up a way to abundant life to each of us, regardless of our circumstances. May you live for His glory each moment!