My open letter to any Christian girl facing an unplanned pregnancy.
Dear girl, it’s okay. Take a deep breath. You are brave, and you can make a good choice for you and your baby. You may not feel brave, but God is with you. Be strong and courageous. Yes, sin may be what led to this positive pregnancy test, and it’s okay to regret that sin deeply. That doesn’t change the fact that pregnancy is not a sin. This baby is not a sin. Even if this pregnancy is the result of a choice you didn’t make, such as rape, it’s not the baby’s fault.
I know, so many thoughts are racing through your mind right now. You may be feeling overwhelmed, afraid, wondering how in the world you’re going to tell people. Fearful of what they will say, what they will think, what they will tell you to do.
Right now, you probably wish it would all just go away. No matter what you’ve thought about abortion in the past, it’s crossed your mind. You may feel guilty for even thinking about it, but the thought can be very appealing right now. The whisper that “Nobody has to know, God will forgive you anyway” is there. I know. But dear girl, God has a plan, a good plan, for you AND for the precious baby He is knitting within your womb right now. The pain of abortion is real, both for mother and child.
You’re not alone. I’ll be here for you however I can. There are people who will surround you with love right where you are. I promise you. And the people who you’re so afraid of telling? You might be surprised at how much love and support you will find where you least expect it.
Yes, there’s decisions to be made. Do yourself a favor, though, and don’t rush. Before deciding anything, go through these 3 simple steps.
- Contact your local pregnancy center (find the closest one at optionline.org), and get a free pregnancy test. Even if you already took a home test, get another one there. I work at a pregnancy center, and over half the girls who come in sure that they are pregnant, have a negative test. Some have had positive tests at home, but home tests can be faulty. Confirm that you are actually pregnant before proceeding.
- Schedule an ultrasound (the pregnancy center can either a free one right there or help you find someone who will do it for free). This will help in finding out how far along you are, and see if the pregnancy is viable (able to survive). About 10%-25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. The glimpse of your baby, the pictures you can take with you, can all help you, too.
- If and when the pregnancy is confirmed, the ladies at the pregnancy center will walk you through the next steps. They can give you information on all of your pregnancy options, help you tell your parents (if applicable, and if you would like them to), provide support throughout your pregnancy, and connect you to other local resources such as Embrace Grace groups. All of their services are typically free, and they are always confidential.
A radiant life is still available to you. God forgives sexual sin. Purity was never about virginity or rules or appearances anyway. No, Jesus cares about your heart, about the choice you are making today, and He’s the God who says “Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more.”
See, dear girl, He doesn’t condemn you for the sin that led you this day: He died so that you could be free from it. He doesn’t want you to add another sin to it. He’s offering you forgiveness and freedom and hope and new life. Yes, the little life you carry within you right now is a reminder of that new life, isn’t it? This baby is just a part of His good plans, plans of working all things for good, of bringing beauty from ashes.
Pregnancy isn’t the end of the world. It’s a life-changing event, yes. From the moment that baby was conceived, you became a mother. You are a mother. That’s an awesome and scary thing, I know. Right now, remember the key to radiant living: Looking to Jesus.
Jesus will be with you every step of the way. He’ll give you the strength you need. He’s put a special blessing within you, a little blessing that likely already has a beating heart. Be brave, dear girl. Fix your eyes on Jesus. God has an amazing destiny planned for you and your baby!
With much love,